I had earlier posted two very positive reviews of Kauffman's Reinventing the Sacred: A new view of science, reason, and religion. But the reviews were not satisfying and something was bothering me that I couldn't really put my finger on. So here is a review by Massimo Pigliucci that addresses the issue that was bugging me:

Now why would any rational individual wish to propagate the whole idea of “the sacred” to begin with? For something to be sacred, according to the Merriam-Webster, means to be “dedicated or set apart for the service or worship of a deity,” or alternatively to be “worthy of religious veneration.” This is not what Kauffman means by the term, but the whole idea of “sacredness” seems to me to be the sort of baggage that humanity ought to do without by now.

At any rate, Kauffman wants to “use the God word, for my hope is to honorably steal its aura to authorize the sacredness of the creativity in nature.” Wow. First off, the concept of “honorably stealing” is something that is rather questionable, especially when what one is attempting to steal is nothing less than god’s aura. Second, nature is not creative, it just is. Creativity is something that conscious beings do, and to use the term in association with nature is misleading to say the least, and invites of course precisely the sort of quasi-mystical thinking that science is supposed to discourage. Third, there is nothing sacred about nature, either. Again, nature is what it is, and while Kauffman is tapping into the sense of awe shared by so many scientists when we approach the natural world, there is nothing to be worshipped, as worshipping is antithetical to understanding and appreciating, which is what science is about.

I think this is a better approach to the book and the review gets to the heart of the problem. Read the full review here.

I was away for the past couple of days so I'm still catching up on relevant articles. Here is a review from Science (June 20) of Stuart Kauffman's book, Reinventing the Sacred: A new view of science, reason, and religion:

He builds his case step by step, first developing powerful arguments against reductionism. Not only is the world in some sense inexplicable at its lowest level (does anyone really understand quantum mechanics in the sense in which we can say that we understand Newtonian mechanics?), it is also necessarily historically unique in its development at higher levels. There is "ceaseless novelty" in what Kauffman calls the "adjacent present" that cannot be anticipated, just as it would be impossible to anticipate all the future uses to which a new invention might be put. So biology cannot conceivably be reduced to physics. Laplace's calculating demon would not be able to foresee all the future because he would not even be able to specify all the relevant variables.

It is from this phenomenon of "ceaseless creativity" in nature that Kauffman develops his case for reinventing the sacred. His argument is partly based on underlining the awe and humility we must feel at contemplating nature and partly a neat sidestepping of the "ought-is" argument in ethics. For him, ethics have emerged from evolution. They are part of the facts of the world we live in.

Okay...but part of the message of his book is to reclaim "God":

Another part of reinventing the sacred comes from the author's conviction that we need to find a new way of expressing human spirituality: "Seeking a new vision of the real world and our place in it has been a central aim of this book--to find common ground between science and religion so that we might collectively reinvent the sacred."

But why should we call any of this "God"? Kauffman's God is not even given the power that the Deists recognize. It is not a prime mover. He feels that "we must use the God word, for my hope is to honorably steal its aura to authorize the sacredness of the creativity in nature." I am sympathetic to this view and, as Kauffman himself notes, there are religions (notably Buddhism) that do not postulate a Creator God and for whom nature is sacred to a high degree.

I don't know who will be convinced by using "God" in this manner. As the reviewer aptly picks up on this point:

So, could his concept of God as nature's ceaseless creativity be convincing? As he expects, believers in a Creator God will strongly disagree with him, whereas humanists are not likely to adopt aword they have expunged from their language.

I'm not sure what is point of going through all of this to reclaim the notion of God. Read the full Science review here.

Here is another review by Michael Shermer in Scientific American, and it roughly has the same tone:

In Kauffman’s emergent universe, reductionism is not wrong so much as incomplete. It has done much of the heavy lifting in the history of science, but reductionism cannot explain a host of as yet unsolved mysteries, such as the origin of life, the biosphere, consciousness, evolution, ethics and economics. How would a reductionist explain the biosphere, for example? “One approach would be, following Newton, to write down the equations for the evolution of the biosphere and solve them. This cannot be done,” Kauffman avers. “We cannot say ahead of time what novel functionalities will arise in the biosphere. Thus we do not know what variables—lungs, wings, etc.—to put into our equations. The Newtonian scientific framework where we can prestate the variables, the laws among the variables, and the initial and boundary conditions, and then compute the forward behavior of the system, cannot help us predict future states of the biosphere.”

This problem is not merely an epistemological matter of computing power, Kauffman cautions; it is an ontological problem of different causes at different levels. Something wholly new emerges at these higher levels of complexity.

and it also ends with a note of skepticism for the success of such a notion of God:

He is one of the most spiritual scientists I know, a man of inestimable warmth and ecumenical tolerance, and his God 2.0 is a deity worthy of worship. But I am skeptical that it will displace God 1.0, Yahweh, whose Bronze Age program has been running for 6,000 years on the software of our brains and culture.

Read the full Scientific American review here.

Menegur dan menasihati serta mendakwahi orang lain itu sememangnya tanggungjawab kita. Namun bukanlah tanggungjawab kita untuk menjadikan mereka berubah dan mendapatkan hidayah. Firman Allah :

Bukanlah kewajibanmu menjadikan mereka mendapat petunjuk, akan tetapi Allah-lah yang memberi petunjuk (memberi taufik) siapa yang dikehendaki-Nya.
[Al-Baqarah, 2:272]

Nabi sendiri tidak mampu mengubah dan mengislamkan bapa saudaranya yang tercinta, apalagi kita. Bersyukurlah, sekurang-kurangnya keluarga kita masih Islam, masih mengaku Allah sebagai tuhan, Nabi Muhammad sebagai nabi. Insya-Allah, mereka akan menginjak syurga juga akhirnya.

Namun perlu diingat, kita perlu terus-menerus mendakwahi mereka, kerana itu sememangnya tanggungjawab kita yang tidak akan pernah berhenti. Firman Allah :

Dan (ingatlah) ketika suatu umat di antara mereka berkata: "Mengapa kamu menasihati kaum yang Allah akan membinasakan mereka atau mengazab mereka dengan azab yang amat keras?" Mereka menjawab: "Agar kami mempunyai alasan (pelepas tanggung jawab) kepada Tuhanmu, dan supaya mereka bertakwa".
[Al-A'raf, 7:164]

Lihat di hujung ayat itu, "supaya mereka bertakwa". Maksudnya tujuan dakwah kita perlulah agar mereka bertaqwa. Jadi, kita perlu berusaha dengan cara yang terbaik. Pelajarilah fiqh dakwah, bacalah buku-buku dakwah, cara-cara mendakwahi keluarga dan mintalah pendapat murobbi@murobbiyah dan naqib@naqibah. Insya-Allah akan berjumpa caranya. Yang penting, kita perlu terus menerus menasihati, namun menjadikan mereka beriman itu tugas Allah.

Beberapa tips:

1. Sentiasalah menunukkan akhlaq yang baik kepada mereka. Dekati mereka dengan baik. Jadi teman yang rapat buat mereka. Tunjukkan kita mengambil bereat terhadap mereka. Lama-kelamaan pasti mereka akan mendengar nasihat kita.

2. Jangan sekali-kali berleter kepada mereka. Ini akan membuatkan mereka menyampah dan lari daripada kita.

3. Banyakkan bersabar. Amalkan sikap ini; bersama dengan mereka apabila mereka tidak melakukan larangan Allah, tinggalkan mereka @ tidak bersama mereka apabila mereka mula melakukan larangan Allah. Firman Allah :

Dan apabila kamu melihat orang-orang memperolok-olokkan ayat-ayat Kami, maka tinggalkanlah mereka sehingga mereka membicarakan pembicaraan yang lain. Dan jika setan menjadikan kamu lupa (akan larangan ini), maka janganlah kamu duduk bersama orang-orang yang lalim itu sesudah teringat (akan larangan itu).
[Al-An'am, 6.68]

4. Berdoalah bersungguh-sungguh kepada Allah agar mereka diberi kefahaman tentang agama. Tanda Allah ingin memberikan kebaikan kepada seseorang hambaNya adalah Dia akan memberikannya kefahaman tentang agama.

5. Akhir sekali, bertawakkal kepada Allah, sambil terus berusaha.

Dan kepunyaan Allah-lah apa yang gaib di langit dan di bumi dan kepada-Nya-lah dikembalikan urusan-urusan semuanya, maka sembahlah Dia, dan bertawakallah kepada-Nya. Dan sekali-kali Tuhanmu tidak lalai dari apa yang kamu kerjakan.
[Huud, 11:123]

Wallahua'lam...

Google public relations

You've heard my two primary maureenisms by now:

Go Slow to Go Fast
Progress not Perfection

But there's a third (actually, there are probably fourths and fifths and sixths)--and it's one of the originals

Flexibility within Structure

I was student teaching when I came up with it. After my second lesson plan for teaching Julius Caesar to tenth graders, I decided my approach wasn't working for every kid. And it needed to. I liked the structure: 10-minute warm-up, reactivating what we knew so far; 5-minute preparation for the scene (or two) of the day; 20-minute scene interpretation; 10 minute reflection, what we now know or are still confused about.

So I kept the structure.

Then added some flexibility. For example, instead of using a written prompt for the warm-up, we used a verbal one. After we discussed what we already knew about the play (e.g. what already happened) then the kids synthesized what we discussed in a list to be used for an outline at the end of the unit. Instead of reenacting the entire scene, I'd isolate its crux and together, we'd modernize it. You get the idea.

I use this approach with my running and especially with my mothering and especially in my role as teacher to the little love I mother.

The structure remains the same every day: wake, eat, activity, lunch, nap, activity, dinner, quiet activity, bed (with a whole lot of "read" interspersed)

I've employed it with her as soon as my feet landed back on the ground after having her and I had a minute to sort out what just happened (the most wonderful thing in life happened: life) which was about when she was four weeks old.

The structure remains in fixed, but the activities, the menu's, the stories do not.

It's not rocket science, that's for sure. We all operate on our own flexibility within structures each day, but I think that sometimes the awareness of what "it" is helps the mind to relax a little bit.
What are your structures? What are your flexibilities? How do you operate?

::

I was reminded of this maureenism this week, as I was feeling a little scattered about this blog. Check back soon to hear more about it.

::

Going Slow to Go Fast

I'm up early early early every morning, either to work or to run or both. I love getting up early--I get a lot done. But it is very easy for "getting a lot done" to become a fixation. So much so that if I'm not getting something done, I feel unproductive and anxious. And that, I know, is ridiculous. So, I'm working on it.

Usually, I eat breakfast while I write email or think about the work-related tasks I need to get done that day. It's a total no-no, I know. Again, sometimes I feel like every minute needs to be productive and my sense of productivity becomes skewed. (Eating breakfast mindfully and having a minute to let the brain waves settle is, afterall, productive). So this morning, I didn't turn anything on. It was just me, my oatmeal, and some quiet, quiet air.

::

Splurge of the month

Husband paid the bills last night and whenever he pays the bills, there is a cloak of silence that falls heavy throughout the house. Don't get me wrong, it's totally self-imposed. I pretend I'm working on something when really, I'm zeroed in on his body language and his silence like it's keeping me alive.

I think about all the things I've bought this month that I probably could have done without and all the things that I could still return. Where does this guilt come from?

I must say, it's gotten way better since we've put the brakes on superfluous spending (which was never all that bad) and we've agreed to make the time to sit down together to pay those darn things. We both decided that my anxiety stems from my uninvolvement in the process.

So we're going to start making a date of it. A bottle of $10 wine and the bills. Could be a disaster, but I think it will be fun :) I'm counting on it.

In the meantime, no splurge for me!

We love honey bees, also known as Apis Mellifera. Apis Mellifera is just the scientific name which means honey carrying bee, which technically is incorrect, as honey bees do not carry honey. They carry nectar and turn it into honey in the hive. So let's just call 'em honey bees!

Honey bees swarm. They swarm for several reason, and for some reasons we'll never understand. Here I am watching a swarm from one of my hives land in my near by tree. You can click on the image for an enlarged view.

My wife and I clapped our hands, rattled a metal sheet around the swarm and believe it or not they went back into the hive they swarmed from. Either what we did worked, or for some unheard of reason, they just went back home. I know bees cannot hear, but they do "hear" by sensing vibrations.

Beekeeping comes with many challenges. During May and June our biggest challenge is keeping our hives from swarming. I run my hives tight and full because I believe bees like to be crowded--not congested, but crowded. This year, I've only had 2 of my hives swarm. This one was high up so I put an empty hive on top of my truck and climbed up the ladder and shook the swarm down into the box on the truck. Imagine going through a fast food drive up with that on top of your truck! When a colony swarms, it loses a large number of it's population. Most agree that if a colony swarms, the remaining bees probably will not produce honey that year. So, no one wants to see a swarm unless it is someone elses. :)

Another beekeeping challenge is failing queens. Has your queen gone feet up on you? Maybe she's deformed, like this one which has lost an antenna. Or like this queen in the picture, maybe she needs wound up again. Sorry, when the queen runs out, there is no winding her back up. She will not mate again. Time for a new queen. This is another challenge we beekeepers face...failing or missing queens. None of us want to find a bunch of queen cells in our hives when the queen is doing great nor do we want to find that our queen is gone. We must have strong, young and great laying queens to keep our hives striving.

Here's a queen cell in my hive. For those of you who have never seen a queen cell and have always wondered if you could identify one, here you go. Queen cells on the top half of the frame means they are replacing their old queen for some reason. And queen cells on the bottom of the frames mean they are preparing to swarm. Excessive swarming can be a trait within the queen's genetics. But it can also be environmental such as the hive is congested.

So, all of that being said, I want to wrap up my lessons on queen rearing for now with some final comments.

You are most likely going to keep buying your queens from reputable queen providers probably from the sunshine belt, where the weather is warmer longer so queens are easier to raise and can be raised earlier in the spring. And, we sell packages and queens from the south, so I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. But there are a few things we should consider about queens from the south.

First, they have to travel a long way to get to northern states. Shipping can be hard on bees and queens. It shouldn't be, but sometimes it is. Data recorders have shown that some queens were exposed to cold and hot temperatures that could effect the overall health of the queen. Delivery centers spray for insects. Could that spray residue effect queens as well? Not to mention that some states in the deep south are known to have Africanized bees. Great efforts are being made to keep the Africanized genetics out of the pool, but for open air mated queens, who can be sure, right?

I've heard farmers say you should buy your animals from the north and move then south but never buy them from the south and bring them north. Which brings us to the idea and consideration of whether a southern queen may not be able to survive a northern winter. That's hard to make a case around. Bees are bees, right. They are going to work and do what bees do. However, it makes sense to me to obtain a queen that is bred in the area of your own climate. For years people in the north have successfully over wintered hives purchased from the south. However, winter die outs are on the rise.

That being said, if you live in a northern state which has harsh winters, it just makes sense to purchase queens that have proven successful in northern climates. Here's why: First, you avoid shipping stresses. Secondly, you are obtaining a queen that has survived your unique climate. Thirdly, you know that your queen is from hives that have survived pests and diseases that are common in your area. To me, this makes sense. And with a near by queen breeder, you may be more apt to replace your queens regularly.

Come on! Would you buy a queen from a hive that is known to have CCD or is Africanized? Of course not? Even though she may not carry or transfer the cause of CCD, no one would want to do that. Then, why would you buy a queen without knowing anything about her genetic track record? Usually because we get desperate to have a queen, and most queen breeders are desperately trying to sell queens and can no longer carefully monitor the genetics that governs the overall success of queens. This isn't the case with all southern or western queen breeders, yet the reality of the stress placed on queen production can sometimes cause shortcuts to be taken, in my opinion. I know for a fact that last year queens are sold as this year queens. Again, not everyone does this, but money does talk, and the bottom line governs business.

Our long term goal is to raise queens from survivor hives, which are hives that have survived at least two northern winters, have gone untreated for all pests and disease for at least two years and have not been hindered by pests or diseases. And a hive that has other good qualities such as minimal swarming, gentleness and maximal honey production. That's a long term goal and will take years to improve this stock. For now though, we are achieving success along the way.

But remember, we can't always point the finger at our queens. There are some great coaches that just don't have the player skills to win games. Some queens may be great, but may face tough Springs. Is it fair to blame the queen for a tough spring? The older bees seem to be the ones that call a lot of the shots. Should we blame the queen when the older bees make poor decisions? Or, this is one none of us want to admit, but should we blame the queen for our poor management and poor manipulation of a hive? For example, some medications in the hive have been shown to reduce the queen's performance. Is it fair to blame the breeder or the queen because we poisoned her?

So be patient with the queen! We can all get a dude, but let's be sure before we give up on her.

This is why you should consider raising your own queens. This year introducing my own young, freshly mated queens has made a huge difference in the overall performance of my hives. I realize it is impractical for every beekeeper to raise their own queens. That's why we need more and more local beekeepers to form regional queen rearing programs.

We have a limited number of queens we are selling this year. If you'd like to try one, please give us a call at 217-427-2678. We ship queens on Monday and Wednesday. By purchasing your queens from us, we are able to use that profit to expand our queen stock improvment program.

Also, if you are planning on becoming a beekeeper next spring, then please order your equipment and hives from us this summer or fall. It becomes very difficult for us to keep up with all the orders between February-June. Plan ahead!!

That's all for now, and remember...BEE-have yourself!

David & Sheri Burns

Long Lane Honey Bee Farms

217-427-2678

EMAIL: david@honeybeesonline.com

Even if it doesn't always turn out to be true, its still fun to read about the possibility of actual astronomical information in ancient texts. And of course, its great when the text in question is Homer's Odyssey:

That Odysseus took his time, 19 years, getting home to Ithaca from the Trojan War is the story Homer engraved in the “Odyssey.” But exactly when did he rejoin his Penelope, who had been patient beyond belief?

Plutarch thought a crucial passage in the 20th book of the “Odyssey” to be a poetic description of a total solar eclipse at the time of Odysseus’ return. A century ago, astronomers calculated that such an eclipse occurred over the Greek islands on April 16, 1178 B.C., the only one in the region around the estimated date of the sack of Troy. But nearly all classics scholars are highly skeptical of any connection.

An analysis of astronomical references in the epic has led two scientists to conclude that the homecoming of Odysseus, usually considered a fictional character set in the context of a real historical event, possibly coincided with the 1178 solar eclipse. If, that is, Homer indeed had in mind an eclipse when he wrote of a seer prophesying the death of Penelope’s waiting suitors and their entrance into Hades.

The new interpretation of the eclipse hypothesis is reported in this week’s issue of The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences by Constantino Baikouzis and Marcelo O. Magnasco, scientists at the Laboratory of Mathematical Physics at Rockefeller University in New York and at the Astronomical Observatory of La Plata, in Argentina.

And here is the slightly problematic bit:

Although an eclipse is not mentioned anywhere in the story, there are omens and what Plutarch inferred was a poetic description of a total solar eclipse. Odysseus has arrived home, disguised in beggar’s rags and in hiding before revealing himself. It happens that, when Penelope’s persistent suitors sit down for a noontime meal, they start laughing uncontrollably and see their food spattered with blood.

At this strange moment, the seer Theoclymenus foretells their death, ending with the sentence, “The Sun has been obliterated from the sky, and an unlucky darkness invades the world.”

There are reasons to think that the darkness of a total eclipse had just fallen on Ithaca. It was close to noon when the 1178 eclipse occurred over the Ionian Sea. It was, as mentioned several times in the story, at the time of a new moon, which the scientists point out is “a necessary condition for a solar eclipse.” And what better atmospherics to accompany a prophecy of doom than a total eclipse, which was considered an ill omen?

Experts on Homer have previously discounted such conjecture. For one thing, the earliest verified eclipse records are in the eighth century B.C., about the time Homer was writing but long after the action in what is known as the Trojan War, around the early 12th century B.C. Scholars say there is no evidence supporting a view at the time, widely quoted, that “a solar eclipse may mark the return of Odysseus.”

Hmm...okay. Thats a lot of cold water. But how did they figure out the specific eclipse in the first place?

The two scientists derived a possible chronology from astronomical references in the story, including the stars by which Odysseus navigated, the sighting of Venus just before dawn as he arrives at Ithaca, and the new moon on the night before the massacre of the suitors and the presumed eclipse.

On the basis of their analysis, the scientists said, these three “references ‘cohere,’ in the sense that the astronomical phenomena pinpoint the date of 16 April 1178 B.C.,” adding, “The odds that purely fictional references to these phenomena (so hard to satisfy simultaneously) would coincide by accident with the only eclipse of the century are minute.”

Well? Solar eclipses are indeed quite spectacular. So there is a possibility that this eclipse may have made enough of an impression (or to have scared the heck out of them) to have been made part of the story that carried this scientific information for five centuries - before it got to Homer (or the collection of bards known as Homer). True or not, its a fun investigative story.

Read the full article here.

Sahabatku...
Aku membaca luahan hatimu kepada kekasihmu,
Luahan yang kauabadikan di blog milikmu,
Kau luahkan segala perasaanmu kepadanya,
hingga kaukatakan,

"~~sungguh, hanyalah dirimu yang aku cintai.. dan sungguh, kukan disisimu hingga kumati~~"

Kukira kaumahu semua orang mengetahui,
Bahawa kau amat mencintai kekasihmu itu.
Kau ingin berbangga memilikinya sebagai kekasih,
Lantaran segala pengorbanannya yang mengharukanmu.
Sehingga kuyakin,
Sesiapa sahaja yang membacanya pasti merasa,
Bertapa dalamnya cintamu kepadanya,
Dan tiada siapa yang mungkin mengingkarinya.

Tetapi...
Terharukah aku membacanya? Terharukah aku?
Lalu mengapa air mata ini mengalir?
Mengapa?
Namun hatiku membisikkan,
kau bukan terharu..
Sebenarnya kau sedang terkesima umairzulkefli..
Terkesima melihat cinta seseorang yang diletakkan bukan pada tempatnya yang sebenar...

Sesungguhnya aku akan hanya terharu...
Jika yang kauucintakan itu adalah Rabb-mu...
Jika yang kau sayangi itu adalah tuhanmu...
Pencipta dirimu...
Yang menciptakan segala yang ada pada dirimu,
Keluargamu,
Ibumu,
Ayahmu,
Kekasihmu,
bahkan PERASAAN yang kau rasakan saat ini...
Kerana aku yang hina ini melihat...
Kau tidak meletakkan Allah sebagai cinta terATASmu...
Yang lebih kaudambakan hanyalah cinta dia,
manusia biasa...

Walaupun dia Amat MenCintaimu..
Tapi ingatlah..
ALLAH LEBIH MENCINTAIMU...
kerana DIA yang memberimu kebahagiaan yang kaukecapi kini...

Namun kerana cintamu kepada dia,
Seakan-akan kau melupakan DIA,
Kau lebih mahu memenangi hatinya,
Daripada memenangi diriNYA,
Kau lebih ingin menyenangkan diri kekasihmu,
Tetapi kau telah mengingkari kasih KEKASIH sebenarmu...
Kau lebih ingin memenuhi kehendak dirimu serta kekasihmu,
Tetapi kaumeninggalkan kehendak KEKASIH sebenarmu.
Kau amat takut andai kauterguris hati kekasihmu.
Tetapi sedarkah kau yang kau telah menoreh-noreh KEKASIH SEBENARMU,
dengan melakukan larangan-laranganNYA...?

Satu analogi mudah buat situasimu ini...

Bayangkan jika kaumencintai kekasihmu itu,
Lalu kauberikan segalanya kepadanya,
Dan kaumendapati dia turut mencintai dirimu,
Dia juga memberikan segalanya kepada dirimu,
Namun akhirnya kausedari,
Cintanya padamu hanya kerana rupa parasmu yang anggun,
Suaramu yang lunak-merdu,
Hanya itu!
Hanya kerana fizikalmu!
Dan seandainya fizikalmu hilang,
Cinta kekasihmu buatmu turut hilang...
Lalu kaumenyedari itu bukan cinta sebenar,
Kaumenyedari bukan dirimu yang dicintai dan dipuja selama ini,
Kau menyedari yang dirimu terasa dikhianati...
Bagaimana perasaanmu ketika itu?

Dan itulah analoginya,
Ketika tuhanmu menyintaimu lalu memberikan segalanya padamu,
Lalu yang kaukembalikan,
Hanyalah cintamu kepada hambaNYA yang biasa,
Kau rasa bersyukur,
Hanya kerana memiliki hambaNYA,
Kau rasa gembira kerana layanan hambaNYA kepadamu,
Bukan sebenarnya kepadaNYA...


Kaumerasakan kekasihmulah ang menghilangkan deritamu selama ini,
Tetapi sebenarnya DIAlah yang menghilangkannya.

Kaumerasakan kekasihmu memberimu semangat untuk bangun kembali mengharungi hidup ini,
Tetapi sebenarnya DIAlah yang meniupkan semangat kepada jiwamu.

Kaumerasakan kekasihmu itu yang membahagiakanmu selama ini,
Tetapi sebenarnya DIAlah yang meniupkan kebahagiaan kepadamu.

Kaumerasakan kau sangat bahagia apabila dicintai dan dkasihi kekasihmu,
Tetapi siapakah yang menciptakan perasaan cinta dan perasaan kasih itu?

Siapakah sebenarnya yang meniupkan perasaan cinta itu keadalam dirimu dan kekasihmu?
Juga yang meniupkan sifat pengasih kepada ibumu,
Juga kepada sesiapa sahaja yang mencintaimu.
Siapa?
Siapakah Ar-Rahim itu?
Siapakah Yang Maha Penyayang itu!?
Siapakah yang sebenarnya mencintaimu itu?
SIAPA!!??
DIAlah ALLAH!!!
ALLAH....
Ya...DIAlah ALLAH..
ALLAHlah yang menyintaimu sebenarnya,
ALLAHlah yang menyintaimu selama ini...
Lalu mengapakah kau tega melukakan diriNYA,
Dengan perbuatan-perbuatanmu,
Hanya kerana dikaburi cinta kepada kekasihmu itu...?

Sahabatku...
kau hanyalah hamba ALLAH,
kekasihmu juga hanyalah hamba ALLAH,
aku juga hanyalah hamba ALLAH,
hambaNYA yang sangat hina,
mungkin sahaja aku lebih hina daripada kalian,

namun...
Cinta kita kepadaNYA perlu melebihi segalanya,
Bukan setakat lafaz di bibir,
Tetapi dengan pembuktian pengabdian yang nyata,
Melakukan yang diperintah,
Meninggalkan yang dilarang...

Tidakkah kaumerisaukan,
Tibanya suatu hari,
Di mana kau dan kekasihmu berseteru di hadapan ALLAH,
Saling menyalahkan antara satu sama lain,
Masing-masing mengatakan diri sendiri tidak bersalah,
Kau sehabis mungkin mengatakan bahawa kekasihmu itulah yang menjerumuskanmu,
Menjermuskan dirimu kedalam lembah kesilapan ini,
Dan ketika itu pasti dia menjadi orang yang paling kaubenci sekali.
Tidak risaukah kau?
Sanggupkah kau?

Kerana inilah yang difirmankan oleh KEKASIH SEBENARMU,
"Teman-teman akrab pada hari itu sebagiannya menjadi musuh bagi sebagian yang lain kecuali
orang-orang yang bertakwa."
[Surah Az-Zukhruf, 43:67]

Sahabatku...
To love somebody is nothing,
To be love by somebody is something,
To be love by somebody you loved is interesting,
But...
To be loved by ALLAH is EVERYTHING...

Remember always my friend...
ALLAH LOVES YOU...
MORE than you yourself...

We chose Ratatouille for the beginning of Recipes to Rival. It's a great recipe to have for this time of the year as these vegetables are starting to come into season.

Ratatouille - Definition
A popular dish from the French region of Provence that combines eggplant, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, zucchini, garlic and herbs --all simmered in olive oil. The vegetables can vary according to the cook. They can be cooked together, or cooked separately and then combined and heated briefly together. Ratatouille can be served hot, cold or at room temperature, either as a side dish or as an appetizer with bread or crackers.
---Epicurious.com

There are several versions of Ratatouille out there but we thought we would go with the recipe that the movie, RATATOUILLE used. According to Revolution Health the following recipe is the official recipe of the movie.

CONFIT BYALDI
from NY TIMES

INGREDIENTS
FOR PIPERADE
1/2 red pepper, seeds and ribs removed
1/2 yellow pepper, seeds and ribs removed
1/2 orange pepper, seeds and ribs removed
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 cup finely diced yellow onion
3 tomatoes (about 12 ounces total weight), peeled, seeded, and finely diced, juices reserved
1 sprig thyme
1 sprig flat-leaf parsley
1/2 a bay leaf
Kosher salt

FOR VEGETABLES
1 zucchini (4 to 5 ounces) sliced in 1/16-inch rounds
1 Japanese eggplant, (4 to 5 ounces) sliced into 1/16-inch rounds
1 yellow squash (4 to 5 ounces) sliced into 1/16-inch rounds
4 Roma tomatoes, sliced into 1/16-inch rounds
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
2 teaspoons olive oil
1/8teaspoon thyme leaves
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper


FOR VINAIGRETTE
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oi
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
Assorted fresh herbs (thyme flowers, chervil, thyme)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.

METHOD
FOR PIPERADE
1. Heat oven to 450 degrees. Place pepper halves on a foil-lined sheet, cut side down. Roast until skin loosens, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and let rest until cool enough to handle. Peel and chop finely.

2. Combine oil, garlic, and onion in medium skillet over low heat until very soft but not browned, about 8 minutes. Add tomatoes, their juices, thyme, parsley, and bay leaf. Simmer over low heat until very soft and very little liquid remains, about 10 minutes, do not brown; add peppers and simmer to soften them. Season to taste with salt, and discard herbs. Reserve tablespoon of mixture and spread remainder in bottom of an 8-inch skillet.

FOR VEGETABLES
3. Heat oven to 275 degrees. Down center of pan, arrange a strip of 8 alternating slices of vegetables over piperade, overlapping so that 1/4 inch of each slice is exposed. Around the center strip, overlap vegetables in a close spiral that lets slices mound slightly toward center. Repeat until pan is filled; all vegetables may not be needed.

4. Mix garlic, oil, and thyme leaves in bowl and season with salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle over vegetables. Cover pan with foil and crimp edges to seal well. Bake until vegetables are tender when tested with a paring knife, about 2 hours. Uncover and bake for 30 minutes more. (Lightly cover with foil if it starts to brown.) If there is excess liquid in pan, place over medium heat on stove until reduced. (At this point it may be cooled, covered and refrigerated for up to 2 days. Serve cold or reheat in 350-degree oven until warm.)

FOR VINAIGRETTE
5. Combine reserved piperade, oil, vinegar, herbs, and salt and pepper to taste in a bowl.

TO SERVE
6. Heat broiler and place byaldi underneath until lightly browned. Slice in quarters and very carefully lift onto plate with offset spatula. Turn spatula 90 degrees, guiding byaldi into fan shape. Drizzle vinaigrette around plate. Serve hot.

Yield: 4 servings

Quotes from the Forum:

My boyfriend now wants to go vegetarian because of this dish
Robyn of Culinary Adventures

I think the piperade would be good just on a sandwich as well, instead of putting slices of peppers and tomatoes on it. YUM!
Debyi of Healthy Vegan Kitchen

When I gave a lil' plate of it to AJ (hub) he said, "All that work for this? It's like steamed veggies!" hehe then he tasted it. He didn't say much else after that except how yummy it was.
Belle Boulangère of Delightful Delicacies

Yesterday I saw a fantastic and completely insane film, The Fall. The preview for the film is below. Its a visually stunning film with a charming off-beat story. But why am I mentioning it on this blog? Well, it has Charles Darwin and Wallace in it - but both are very very unusual (especially true in the case of Wallace). Follow this link to see the place in the movie when Darwin and Wallace are first introduced. I'm sure that without context, it looks even more bizarre. But I think Darwin looks good in this pink pimp coat (this reminded me of Daniel Dennett's attire in the MC Dawkins video). If you like good unusual films, then definitely check out The Fall while its still playing in the theaters - its a big screen film. If you need more prodding, then here is the opening of Ebert's review:

Tarsem's "The Fall" is a mad folly, an extravagant visual orgy, a free-fall from reality into uncharted realms. Surely it is one of the wildest indulgences a director has ever granted himself. Tarsem, for two decades a leading director of music videos and TV commercials, spent millions of his own money to finance "The Fall," filmed it for four years in 28 countries and has made a movie that you might want to see for no other reason than because it exists. There will never be another like it.

and here is the trailer:

Here is a Point of Inquiry interview with PZ Myers. I think many things get squished in here. For example, there is no real discussion over the definition of religion. This is crucial if statements are being made about science and atheism equivalence. Similarly, the issue of spreading atheism gets entangled up here with public understanding of science. It should be clear that a public discussion over atheism is different than a public discussion over science, and this distinction got blurred couple of times during the interview. But the questions are good and the discussion goes very well. Give it a listen - this is an important issue about a fault-line that exists within the scientific community.

Here is the description of the program:

P.Z. Myers PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris and the author of Pharyngula, the most heavily-trafficked science blog online.

In this conversation with D.J. Grothe, P.Z. Myers explains the purpose and impact of his blog, and whether his priority is to advance science education or atheism. He talks about what he sees as his roles in the scientific community and the atheist movement, and how related these roles are. He explores the relationship between science and atheism, and argues that the more a public learns science, the likelier it is that they will become atheistic. And he talks about where a science educator's atheism fits in the classroom. He also addresses the position of leading scientific organizations such as the American Association for the Advancement of Science and the National Academies of Science regarding evolution being compatible with religious belief, and their use of religious scientists as spokespeople, and he assesses their motivations and strategies to advance science to a largely religious American public.

Listen to the podcast here.

Update: Here is another related Point of Inquiry podcast: Taner Edis on Science and Nonbelief. This is a good supplement to the above podcast, as it gets into a more nuanced discussion over naturalism. The most interesting aspect of the interview (at least for me) is the discussion about rational choice theory in understanding religions (its about half-way into the interview).

Diary of a Failed StartupSo, here's the collection of lessons learned. I'm going to frame these as advice, but everyone should remember Buchheit's Law: "Advice = Limited Life Experience + Overgeneralization". This is one startup, and not even a successful one at that. There are many ways to succeed, and even more ways to fail, and so there will likely be exceptions to every single one of these

Earlier this month, NYT wrote a strong editorial about creationist efforts at Texas State Board of Education. Here is another about Louisiana, where a creationist-friendly bill has just passed:

It comes as no surprise that the Louisiana State Legislature has overwhelmingly approved a bill that seeks to undercut the teaching of evolution in the public schools. The state, after all, has a sorry history as a hotbed of creationists’ efforts to inject religious views into science courses. All that stands in the way of this retrograde step is Gov. Bobby Jindal.
...

The new bill doesn’t mention either creationism or its close cousin, intelligent design. It explicitly disavows any intent to promote a religious doctrine. It doesn’t try to ban Darwin from the classroom or order schools to do anything. It simply requires the state board of education, if asked by local school districts, to help create an environment that promotes “critical thinking” and “objective discussion” about not only evolution and the origins of life but also about global warming and human cloning, two other bêtes noires of the right. Teachers would be required to teach the standard textbook but could use supplementary materials to critique it.

That may seem harmless. But it would have the pernicious effect of implying that evolution is only weakly supported and that there are valid competing scientific theories when there are not. In school districts foolish enough to head down this path, the students will likely emerge with a shakier understanding of science.

And the wack-a-creationism continues. There is nothing new to say here, but I like the fact that the bill also brings in global warming and human cloning. While we are at it, we may also include theories critical of NASA's moon landing claims and perhaps add some 9/11 skeptics to the mix too. This will unite all the crazies for one cause. By the way, why include human cloning? I think they mean stem cells research here...

Here is the full editorial.

And if you can't have enough of these controversies, check out this interview (from May 25) where philosopher, Barbara Forrest, tackles a creation science supporter in Louisiana. And here is an open letter by Louisiana Coalition for Science requesting Governor Jindal to veto the bill.

Here is a short piece from The NewYorker, Winter Light, that talks about the role of art and poetry in shaping our beliefs and disbeliefs (hat tip to Olga Gershenson). The basic set up is about two friends going to the screening of a Bergman film ("Winter Light") in a church. And yes, this film, like other Bergman films, looks at the slightly bleaker aspects of human life. (Read the full story here)

I wasn’t a churchgoer, nor was Rob, but neither of us had seen the movie, and, after all, it was Bergman, and free, so we went. The church was cold. There couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, thirty of us scattered around the pews in our overcoats and scarves.

...

After the first scoffing murmurs of recognition—the opening scenes of the film show a cold-looking church with a few parishioners in overcoats—we all settled down. You simply cannot be ironical in the face of this movie, its adamant seriousness, the unguarded, naked urgency of its story, and the challenge it presents both to believers and to skeptics to assess the depth and consequences of their convictions.

Tomas, a Lutheran pastor and widower, is suffering a crisis of faith, barely going through the motions of his ministry; indeed, he can’t even find the heart to treat his lover, a schoolteacher, with kindness. One of his parishioners has become obsessed with the prospect of nuclear annihilation. At his wife’s urging, this man, a fisherman, comes to the pastor for reassurance, some blessed word of hope that he can grasp as a lifeline, but Tomas can offer nothing but the bleakness of his own despair. The fisherman commits suicide. Yet Bergman takes care to show that Tomas and the fisherman are not alone in their suffering, and that others, equally afflicted—the fisherman’s wife, the pastor’s steadfast lover, his hunchbacked assistant—are able to bear their pain into a still deeper faith and capacity for love.

After the movie both friends are subjected to a talk by the church minister and a painting of Jesus, "The Light of the World". The main point of the NewYorker story, however, is about the diametrically opposite reactions to seeing this religious painting:

Because I really disliked that painting. It seemed to me a typical Pre-Raphaelite production: garish, melodramatic, cloying in its technique and sentimentality; pretentious humbug. The contrast between Bergman’s severe, honest art and this painting, on the same screen, chilled me. Was this what the minister held in his mind as the answer to all our problems—a kitschy figure from a calendar? I turned to Rob. “Let’s get a pint.”

But Rob was intent on this very image. Rapt. He barely glanced at me. “You go on.”

That night—to some extent, that picture—changed his life. He enrolled in Bible classes at the church, and went on to become a missionary in Africa. The same night sent me in the opposite direction, at least for a time. But would a different painting—Caravaggio’s “Conversion of St. Paul,” for example—have kept me in the pew? We like to think of our beliefs, and disbeliefs, as founded on reason and close, thoughtful observation. Only in theory do we begin to suspect the power of aesthetics to shape our lives.

This is a good observation. But, of course, the role reason plays in one's worldview is very different from person to person. More interestingly, what about the role of reason for people who move from belief to disbelief after reading Sagan, Dawkins, or Gould? I think there is no need to count out reason completely.

Read the full story here.

Bare with me for one more post of scattered-ness.

::

Turns out my haircut was Wednesday. I had just sat in the chair for my trim when the stylist asked me, "So, what're we doing today?"

Without thinking, I replied, "Just a trim."

She starts snipping before settling into her line of little love questioning. (Honestly, what did we talk about before her?)

She barely got a word out when I said, "What do you think about that cut" as I pointed to another stylist down the line. She thought it would be "adorable."

Hmm...not exactly what I was looking for, but okay.

For those of you who haven't seen me in a while, I've been letting my hair grow long (for me). I've never let it get past that critical point (past the shoulders, almost down to the back) and I was determined I'd get there this time.

Because in my head, my hair looks like this.

But on my head, it looks like this.

So we cut it. And I LOVE it. No pictures yet, but it looks something like this, only way less colorful and way more streamlined.

::

This morning I saw a poll that said 60 percent of American's think the country is heading in the wrong direction, evidenced by rising gas prices, mortgage crises, and grocery bills.

Sigh.

I think it is heading in the wrong direction, evidenced by bigger cars, even bigger houses, and more more more mentality.

The abundance movement abounds. But I'm not sure what kind of abundance we're aiming for all the time. We're more grateful than we've ever been. Being grateful will get us more! I look around at fancy cars and big cars and even bigger houses and think, "Well yeah, duh! We ought to be grateful!"

I realize I sound cynical, and really, I'm all for the grateful movement--I'm not perfect at it, but I'm making progress at it. So today, I'm grateful that our great country has given my family choices and that we've been smart enough to make good ones. I'm grateful that our great country has given my family freedom that we've known when to exercise and when to resist.

Maybe it's headed in the wrong direction, I'm not astute enough on a worldly level to know these days. What I know on my small level is that I try to model manners for my daughter and say hello to strangers; water my plants during non-peak hours and cut my time in the shower; walk where I can and be efficient with driving when I can't; ask God for strength and courage each day He gives me; make my husband's lunch because I know how much he hates doing it. It all feels like the right direction to me.

I pray for people who do genuinely struggle in these times. People who can't pay the bills and who struggle to feed their family regardless of how hard they work. Those are the people who point me in the right direction--and I hope they're the ones who are getting polled.

::

There are some days when I get blindsided by motherhood. Like this morning. An early, chirpy, day-away-from-summer morning. Little love is still sleeping, husband is getting ready for work, and here I come bounding down the stairs to start some oatmeal. I round the corner and staring me square in the face are a toy baby, a stuffed tiger, and a big fluffy duck, sitting in a perfect row.

I took a look around at every drop of love she's left for me to see. Because sometimes, if I'm not looking for it, I look right over it. And me? I don't want to miss one thing.

::

Go Slow (formerly one small step) to Go Fast:

I watched the golf tournament last weekend. I don't golf, but I jumped on the band wagon and enjoyed every minute of it. At one point, Tiger was in a tough spot. The announcer said, "I want all the young people watching this to pay attention. Watch how he slows everything down, every move, and concentrates."

And he did. He slowed his breath, his walk, his movements, everything. He slowed everything down. It was something to see and it was one of the few times I was really glad a commentator commented. But I'm still wondering why he left old people out.

Go slow to go fast.

Splash-away

Today we're going to the pool and then we'll probably have a Popsicle.

It appears that Adnan Oktar (more widely by his pseudonym, Harun Yahya) is opening up to the media. Here is a Reuters' article by Tom Heneghan, that includes an interview with him. Apart from his usual anti-evolution crusade, Oktar now has started to talk about the end of the world and the return of Christ (yes, yes, Muslims too).

Long wary of the media and portrayed as the guru of a sect, Oktar has opened up recently, possibly because of a trial in Istanbul on charges of creating a criminal organization. He was sentenced to three years in May but denies the charges and is appealing the verdict.

Oktar says the "Atlas of Creation" campaign and Harun Yahya publishing empire are part of his religious vision of the end of the world in which he plays a role hinted at in his pseudonym.

Harun is Arabic for Aaron, the brother of Moses. Yahya is Arabic for John -- in this case, John the Baptist, he said.

"Harun was the helper of the prophet Moses. Yahya was also the helper of Jesus Christ," Oktar said. "When Jesus Christ comes to the world, we also would like to be helping him ... You might say this is a prayer for that."

Now you must be wondering how will he be helping Christ. Well...can he imagine himself to be Mahdi, the hidden Imam?

Oktar said Koran verses and sayings of the Prophet Mohammed about the end of the world revealed Jesus would return soon as a Muslim to help Islam's savior, the Mahdi, defeat the Dajjal or Islamic Anti-Christ and establish Islam around the world.

"Our biggest project right now is to lay the grounds for the coming of Jesus Christ," he said. "We understand this is going to be in the next 20 to 25 years."

The idea of Jesus returning as a Muslim is standard Islamic teaching about the end of times. But Muslims normally stress the end times less than evangelical Christians do, and Oktar's focus on this has prompted rumors he thinks he is the Mahdi.

"I do not make such a claim," he said. "Because of parallels in what I have written and the hadith (sayings) of the Prophet Mohammad, some people have thought I could be him... but in Islam it is forbidden for me to make such a claim."

Of course, he himself is not going to make such a claim. Except that his recent books are obsessed with Mahdi and end-0f-the-times talk. While Muslims have wildly different interpretations of Mahdi, epecially between the Sunnis and the Shia, in Oktar's books Mahdi is described as a "non-Arab", "having a thick beard", "a mole on his cheek" etc. Oh wait, let him describe it himself (this is from an al-Jazeera interview):

There is a rumor that has been going round for a long while that I have claimed to be the Mahdi. The reason for that is that I have written a book on that subject. I have cited all the relevant hadith in that book. They said that I had described myself, that the information about the Mahdi in the hadith was the same. As a result, [they said] you are claiming to be the Mahdi. They say that his forehead is broad, and your forehead is broad, too. That his brow is curved, and your brow is also curved. They say that the Mahdi has a small nose, and a big body. He is a Sayyid of medium height, they say. He has a mole on his cheek, and one on his back. Because you have all these characteristics, you are probably claiming to be the Mahdi.

Of course it could be anyone. And here Oktar estimates time frame of Mahdi based on his interpretation of Bediuzzaman Nursi's sayings (see if you notice any similarities):

Bediuzzaman calls attention to Hijri 1400 as the beginning of Mahdi's ideological struggle against disbelieving philosophies. He further points out that between the years 1401-11 (1981-91), he will unite the benefits of science, skills, and the goodness of civilization to be used in his struggle, and discloses Hijri 1421 (Gregorian calendar: 2001) as the date when the Mahdi will ideologically destroy the disbelieving philosophies.

Coincidentally, Oktar started his anti-evolution crusade (ha!) in 1980-81. But I don't know if he actually claimed victory against disbelieving philosophies in 2001 or not.

Overall, this is a high-risk venture for Oktar. To state the obvious, there is a big difference between being the leading creationist in the Muslim world to assuming a Messianic status. His anti-evolution message has mass-appeal in the Muslim world because it taps into anti-western sentiment, the discomfort with secularity associated with modern science, and the weak political status of Muslims in the world. The end-of-the-world talk, however, is a whole different ball game and is bound to turn-off his more educated followers, who provide support simply for his anti-evolution message. And that may not be a bad thing. In the mean time, we can watch another end-of-time cult in formation - this time in the Muslim world.

Read the full Reuters' article here.

Pernah seketika dulu saya rasa saya tak berguna. Dalam kelas kawan-kawan semua tak suka saya. Saya nak 'join', diorang kata saya menyibuk. Ada pula yang kata saya kuat emo. Sikit-sikit nak marah. Padahal sebenarnya saya nak tegur mereka buat bising masa belajar.

Lepas tu saya cuba buat lawak, kononnya nak tarik perhatian orang lainla. Saya paling gembira bila ada orang gelak bila dengar lawak saya, terutamanya budak-budak perempuan. Budak-budak lelaki semua kata saya 'mat capub'(cari publisiti).Tapi saya tak kisah. Asalkan ada yang terhibur. Pernah sekali tu, saya dapat award kelas – ‘Penglipur Lara Hati Nan Duka’. Huhu~

Tapi saya tetap merasakan kekosongan. Memang lumrah manusia, seoarang lelaki akan tertarik kepada perempuan. Macam itulah yang saya rasa. Saya tengok kawan-kawan ramai yang dah 'couple'. Dalam dorm sms awek sampai pagi. Ada yang ‘call’ awek sampai satu malam boleh habis 10 ringgit. Walaupun nampak macam membazir, tapi rasa ‘jelous’ tetap hadir di hati.

Saya mula berfikir, "Adakah aku perlu BERCINTA?" Dengan menggunakan akal seorang pelajar tingkatan 4 itu, saya pun mula menanam tekad untuk ber'couple'. Dan masa itulah saya kenal awak. Saya rasa saya dah jumpa orang yang paling penting dalam hidup saya.

Mula-mula awak jual mahal. Taknak layan saya. Tapi saya tak kisah, mahal pun takpe, nak beli gak. Dan akhirnya, dipendekkan cerita, saya pun mulalah BERCINTA dengan awak.

Masa bercinta, memang saya sangat-sangat bersemangat. Apa orang minang kata..'ALL OUT'lah. Hahaha.. Saya selalu call awak, awak pun selalu call saya. Malam-malam 'gayut'. Kadang-kadang saya pun habis RM10 satu malam. Tetapi segala PENGORBANAN yang dilakukan masa ber'couple' tu, Tidak terasa pun kehilangannya.

Masa bercinta memang indah. Semuanya indah. Sikit-sikit gurau-gurau. Sikit-sikit gelak-gelak. Kalau merajuk sama-sama pujuk-memuujuk. Kalau 'birthday' kita sambut sama-sama. Untuk diri ini,terasa amat bahagia. Sebab masa itulah terasa diri ini dihargai. Saya pernah terfikir, biarlah kawan-kawan saya tu pandang saya semacam, kata saya macam-macam, asalkan saya ada awak yang memahami saya.

*****

Hampir setahun kita bercinta. Sekarang dah masuk tingkatan 5. Suatu hari saya dengar ceramah. Alhamdulillah, daripada ceramah itu saya sedar yang saya banyak buat dosa dan saya kena berubah. Hidup saya mesti selari dengan Islam. Saya kena jadi orang baik. Sebab memang itu fitrah manusia,menginginkan kebaikan. Semua orang nak masuk syurga kan? Sejak dari saat itu saya mula rapatkan diri dengan masjid. Rapatkan diri dengan Al-Quran. Selalu solat jemaah awal waktu. Selalu dengar tazkirah.

Lepas itu saya beli terjemahan Al-Quran, sebab nak tadabbur Al-Quran. Saya beli dua, satu untuk saya, satu untuk awak. Saya taknak jadi baik seorang diri, jadi saya ajak awak sekali. Saya ajak awak baca Al-Quran. Saya kejut awak bangun subuh.(calling) Saya ajak awak saling beri tazkirah.

Mula-mula awak terkejut dengan perubahan saya. Awak ingat saya dah nak jadi alim, nak berhenti couple. Saya kata, kita bukan buat benda yang salah pun. Bercinta kerana Allah. Kita couple tak macam orang lain. Orang lain couple 'jiwang-jiwang' je. Ada yang siap buat mksiat lagi. Pegang-pegang tangan dan macam-macam lagi. Tapi kita couple baik-baik. Jaga batas-batas syaro'. Tak guna ayat jiwang-jiwang. Janji taknak jumpa, takut berlaku maksiat. Cuma sms dan call je.

 Dan awak terima perubahan saya itu. Saya pun banyak nasihatkan awak. Awak pun terima. Walaupun kadang-kadang awak merajuk sebab teguran saya tu, tapi saya faham, perubahan memerlukan masa. Dan akhirnya saya rasa, hubungan kita semakin diredahai. Saya selalu berdoa supaya kita akan kekal sampai ke gerbang perkahwinan.

Dalam proses perubahan saya, saya mula menyedari bahawa berdakwah itu wajib. Kita kena menyampaikan kepada orang tentang kebenaran. Kalau kita tidak berdakwah, kita akan dipertanggungjawabkan oleh Allah di akhirat kelak. Sesuai dengan firman-Nya dalam surah Al-A'raf, surah ke 7,ayat ke 164:

Dan (ingatlah) ketika suatu umat di antara mereka berkata: "Mengapa kamu menasihati kaum yang Allah akan membinasakan mereka atau mengazab mereka dengan azab yang amat keras?" Mereka menjawab: "Agar kami mempunyai alasan (pelepas tanggung jawab) kepada Tuhanmu, dan supaya mereka bertakwa".

Lepas tu saya mulalah beri tazkirah pada kawan-kawan dan adik-adik. Tegur mereka apa sahaja yang silap. Saya tak boleh tahan bila tengok orang buat salah atau dosa. Saya mesti nak tegur. Selemah-lemah iman tegur dengan hati, oleh sebab saya nak jadi orang kuat iman, apa lagi, tegur la depan-depan. Awak pula selalu nasihatkan saya, jaga perasaan orang lain, berdakwah kena berhikmah, tak boleh kasar-kasar, nanti orang benci. Nasihat awak tu sangat berguna buat saya.

Lepas tu, satu masa. Saya terbaca artikel tentang couple. ‘COUPLE HARAM’ tajuknya. Saya tak percaya. Tapi bila baca detail-detail yang diberi, macam betul pula. Ingat nak bincang dengan awak, tapi berat pula rasanya. Saya fikir kembali. Kita tak buat maksiat. Kita tak jalan-jalan pegang tangan. Tak jiwang-jiwang sangat. Cuma saling ambil berat, tanya khabar, borak-borak, siap ada bagi tazkirah lagi. Apa yang haramnya dengan benda ni? Biasalah, kalau kalau kita suka satu benda tu, kita tetap akan cari alasan untuk 'membenarkan' pendapat kita. Saya pun buat tak tahu pasal benda tu dan teruskan saja hubungan kita.

Masa terus berlalu. Sedar tak sedar Trial SPM dah dekat. Tiga minggu je lagi. Dalam masa tu, saya memang rajin study dengan kawan-kawan. Buat study group. Pada masa yang sama, bagi tazkirah. Ada yang terima. Ada juga yang buat tak tahu. Kadang-kadang bila tegur, saya kena marah pula. Macam-macamlah alasannya. Ada kata saya tegur tak berhikmah, ada yang kata saya menunjuk-nunjuk. Tapi saya tak kisah, saya ada tempat nak mengadu, huhu~~

Suatu ketika, ketika sedang mentadabbur Al-Quran seorang diri, saya terjumpa ayat ini:

Mengapa kamu suruh orang lain(mengerjakan) kebajikan, sedang kamu
melupakan diri (kewajiban) mu sendiri, padahal kamu membaca Al Kitab (Taurat)? Maka tidakkah kamu berfikir?
(Al-Baqarah, ayat 44)

Saya pun berfikir, "Selama ini aku asyik tegur orang je. Tapi aku sendiri masih banyak kekurangan, Cepat marah, suka buang masa, ada lagi dosa-dosa yang masih dilakukan. Macam mana ya?" Lepas tu terjumpa pula ayat ini :

Dan janganlah kamu campur adukkan yang hak dengan yang batil dan janganlah kamu sembunyikan yang hak itu, sedang kamu mengetahui.

(Al-Baqarah ayat 42)

Tiba-tiba saya terfikir satu keritikan kawan. "Alah kau tu..cakap je berapi..gaya alim,tapi couple gak..sama aje kau dengan kami..tegur orang konon.." Berfikir sejenak. Sebenarnye ber'couple' ni boleh ke tidak? Adakah selama ini saya hanya menganggap ia boleh? Habis tu, kenapa saya rasa malu bila mak dan ayah tahu saya selalu berhubung dengan perempuan? Dan terkadang saya rasa serba salah?

Macam-macam yang saya fikir. Dipendekkan cerita lagi sekali,saya ke Pulau Pinang untuk mengikuti satu seminar dakwah. Saya harap dengan seminar ni kefahaman saya mengenai dakwah akan lebih mantap. Dalam perjalanan ke seminar tu, saya masih sms lagi dengan awak dalam bas. Sempat lagi pesan-pesan supaya jangan lupa baca Al-Quran hari ini, solat awal waktu dan lain. Dalam fikiran saya, "Ni kira dakwah juga..saling ingat-mengingati.."

*****

Majlis malam itu berakhir dengan sesi ta'aruf, pukul 10 semua orang sudah bebas untuk aktiviti sendiri. Lagipun kami semua penat. Pihak penganjur pun faham. Takkan nak panjang-panjangkan program sampai tengah malam.

Tiba-tiba saya tergerak hati untuk bertanya dengan fasilitator yang ada di situ. Saya rasa inilah masa terbaik untuk tanya pendapat dia tentang couple. Tapi saya teragak-agak. "Kalaulah betul couple tu salah, habis tu, nak buat macam mana? Aku kena clash ke? Alah, buat apa fikir macam tu..tanya je la. Kalau tak buat salah, apa nak ditakutkan?"

Lalu saya menghampiri 'Brother' fasilitator tu. Masa tu dia tengah membelek-belek terjemahan Al-Qurannya seorang diri.

"Assalamualaikum, bang, saya nak tanya sikit, boleh?"

"Em,boleh..duduklah. Nta nak tanya apa?"

"Er..macam ni,sebelum saya terlibat dengan dakwah ni, saya ada kenal seorang kawan ni, perempuan la. Tapi bukanlah setakat kawan biasa. Rapat jugalah. Bukan rapat biasa-biasa, tapi rapatlah.."

“Bercinta ke?”

Saya malu nak cakap yang saya couple. Nanti apa pula brother tu kata..mesti dia marah punya. Tapi bagi dalih apa lagi. Saya pun angguk. Lepas tu saya tanya:

"Sebenarnya..couple ni boleh ke tak bang?"

Dengan suara yang lembut brother tu jawab:

"Akhi, memang fitrah manusia, lelaki akan tertarik kepada perempuan, begitu juga perempuan akan tertarik kepada lelaki. Tapi dalam Islam, perasaan itu perlu dikawal dan ada batasnya. Pergaulan perlu dijaga. Allah firman dalam surah Al-Isra', surah ke 17, dalam ayat yg ke 32:

Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah suatu perbuatan yang keji dan suatu jalan yang buruk."

"Tapi bang,saya tak nampak pun yang kami ni menghampiri zina. Niat kami baik. Saya dah cuba sedaya upaya mengawal perhubungan kami. Sms pun takdelah jiwang-jiwang, selalu bagi tazkirah lagi. Kami selang-selang bagi, hari ni saya, esok dia."

Saya tak mahu mengalah.

"Memang betul niat nta baik. Tapi ingat, niat tak pernah menghalalkan cara. Yang batil tetap sahaja batil, yang haq tetap haq. Cuba tengok ayat ni."

Sambil brother tu bukak Al-Quran dia, dan tunjuk pada saya ayat ini:

Dan (juga) kaum Ad dan Tsamud, dan sungguh telah nyata bagi kamu (kehancuran mereka) dari (puing-puing) tempat tinggal mereka. Dan setan menjadikan mereka memandang baik perbuatan-perbuatan mereka, lalu ia menghalangi mereka dari jalan (Allah), sedangkan mereka adalah orang-orang yang berpandangan tajam.

(Surah Al-Anakabut,Surah 29, ayat 38)

"Akhi, kalau nta paham ayat ni, sebenarnya apa yang berlaku pada nta ialah, setan telah buat nta pandang indah benda buruk yang nta lakukan. Walaupun nta berpandangan tajam, maksudnya nta berilmu tinggi. Memang pada mulanya niat nta baik, tapi ingat, syaitan itu sangat licik. Dia akan sedaya upaya buat nta terjerumus ke dalam kemaksiatan. Lagipun, takkanlah sepanjang masa nta sms dengan dia, nta ingat Allah aje. Mesti ada masanya nta hanya melayan perasaan dengan dia, kan?"

Betul juga katanya. Lepas tu saya kata,

"Tapi bang, saya dah janji dengan dia taknak jumpa lagi. Sebab saya tahu kalau berjumpa nanti banyak bahayanya. Dan dia pun setuju. Kami sama-sama menjaga diri. Takkanlah ia boleh membawa kepada zina juga bang?"

"Em, betul, nta dah janji taknak jumpa dengan dia lagi. Nta dah dapat elakkan zina mata, zina tangan, zina kaki. kalau nta janji taknak call dia pula, nta dapat elak zina telinga dan zina lidah. Tapi akh, masih ada zina yang tetap nta tak dapat elak apabila bercouple.."

" Zina hati?” Saya menduga.

"Betul, zina hati. Semua inilah yang Rasulullah jelaskan dalam hadithnya tentang bagaimana menghampiri zina tu. Nta boleh 'check' dalam Riyadahus Solihin, bawah bab larangan melihat wanita. Rasulullah bersabda, mata boleh berzina dgn melihat, lidah boleh berzina dengan bercakap, tangan boleh berzina dengan berpegangan. Kaki boleh berzina dengan berjalan ke arah tempat maksiat. Hati pula boleh berzina dgn merindui, mengingati dan membayangi si dia. Hakikatnya, macam mana pun nta buat, nta tetap tak dapat lari daripada zina hati."

Saya terdiam. Kelu. Tak tahu apa nak dikata. Semua yang brother tu kata tiada yang salahnya. Kemudian dia sambung.

"Ana dulu pun couple juga. Lagi lama daripada nta. Sejak sekolah sampai dah masuk U, dekat nak gred. Tapi bila ana sedar apa yang ana buat ni salah, ana trus tinggalkan. Ana siap dah fikir, dialah bakal isteri ana, yang akan jadi ibu kepada anak-anak ana. Kalau nak diikutkan lagi besar masalah ana daripada nta."

"Saya risau la bang. Nanti apa kawan-kawan dia kata. Dulu saya selalu minta tolong mereka untuk rapat dengan dia. Mesti nanti mereka semua tak puas hati dengan saya. Dan dia sendiri pula, saya takut apa-apa akan jadi pada dia kalau dia tak dapat terima keputusan ni. Sebab kami dah rapat sangat."

Masa tu saya dah mula sebak. Malu betul. Menangis depan brother tu cerita pasal benda ni. Nasib baik tak ada org lain masa tu. Brother tu jawab,

"Kalau kawan-kawan dia tak puas hati pun, mereka boleh buat apa? Paling teruk pun, mereka akan mengata di belakang nta. Nta tak kurang sikit pun. Lagipun, dalam berdakwah ni, kita nak cari redha Allah, biarlah orang nak kata apa-apa sekali pun, yang penting redha Allah. Kalau Allah tak redha, semuanya dah tak bermakna lagi."

Saya terdiam lagi.

"Pasal dia pula, cuba nta fikir dari sudut positif, mungkin dia akan terima keputusan nta scara matang. Mungkin dia juga akan buat keputusan untuk tidak lagi bercouple. Ana yakin, dia takkan buat apa-apa perkara bodoh. Kalau dia buat sekalipun, itu bukan tanggungjawab nta, apa yang nta nak buat tu betul, meninggalkan maksiat. Semua orang akan menanggung balasan atas perbuatannya sendiri."

Saya dah tak dapat tahan lagi. Masa itu saya menangis, saya dah sedar yang saya kena berhenti couple. Dah jelas sekarang, couple tu haram.

"Jadi apa saya nak buat bang?"

"Ana dulu, hantar satu sms je kat dia. Ana terangkan pada dia hubungan yang dibina itu salah. Minta maaf, kita berakhir di sini. Tolong jangan cari saya lagi. Lepas itu ana terus tukar nombor. Ana tak hubungi dia langsung lepas tu."

"Maksudnya, saya tak boleh hubungi dia lagi ke? Tapi bang, saya ada juga kawan perempuan lain, boleh pula saya hubungi mereka?"

"Dengan dia ni lain. Nta dah pernah ada 'sejarah' dengan dia. Tapi, kalau nanti ditaqdirkan nta satu universiti dengan dia, satu kuliah, lepas tu kena pula buat group discussion, masa tu nta hanya layan dia hanya sebagai group discussion partner."

Tiba-tiba saya terfikir,

"Dia ni nak suruh aku clash malam ni gak ke? Sekarang gak? Takkanlah awal sangat?"

"Saya rasa saya belum ade kekuatan la bang. Boleh tak saya tunggu sampai saya ada kekuatan, baru saya tinggalkan benda ni?"

Saya ingat nak lari la. Lalu dia jawab,

"Akh, nta kena ingat. Kekuatan itu tidak boleh ditunggu, tapi ia perlu dibina. Allah tidak akan mengubah keadaan sesuatu kaum sehingga kaum itu mengubah keadaannya sendiri. Nta boleh rujuk surah Ar-Ra'du,surah ke-13,ayat 11. Lagipun, nta nak tuggu sampai bila baru nak tinggalkan couple ni? Abang-abang fasilitator ni pun ramai yang pernah couple, bila masuk dakwah, mereka tinggalkan."

Alamak, tak boleh lari lagilah nampaknya. Saya rasa macam brother ni paksa saya clash masa tu juga.

"Semuanya dah jelas rasanya..Nampaknya saya kena tiggalkanla benda ni gak ye. Macam tak larat rasanya nak tekan button handphone ni. Rasa tak sanggup."

"Kalau tak sanggup mari ana tolong tekankan."

"Eh, tak apalah bang. Biar saya taip sendiri."

Teragak-agak saya nak taip masa tu. Tapi saya gagahkn juga diri.

"Semuanya dah jelas..buat apa aku tangguh-tangguh lagi. Takut nanti hidayah ni Allah tarik, susah pula nak tinggalkan. Kan aku selalu doa supaya dijauhkan dari maksiat, jadi rasanya, inilah masanya."

Lalu perlahan-lahan saya taip sms tu..

"Assalamualaikum..Sebenarnya selama ini hubungan kita salah di sisi Islam. Saya ingat dengan mengubah cara pergaulan kita, ia dah dibolehkan, tapi sebenarnya ia tetap berdosa. Saya harap awak akan istiqamah meneruskan perubahan yang awak dah buat, kerana Allah. Saya minta maaf atas segala yang dah berlaku. Kalau ada jodoh insya-Allah, akan bertemu juga. Assalamualaikum.."

Berat betul nak hantar sms tu kat awak. Saya masih tak mampu nak ucap selamat tinggal. Sebab tu dalam sms tu saya hanya akhirkan dengan ucapan salam. Lepas beberapa ketika..saya tekan juga button [send].

Lepas tu tertera di skrin..

SENDING...

MESSAGE SENT

Masa tu saya rasa macam separuh hidup saya dah hilang. Macam tak percaya..saya dah hantar 1 sms, dan clash dengan awak..

"Terima kasih bang.."

"Takpe, dah tanggungjawab.." 

Malam tu saya saya tidur dengan linangan air mata. Tak sangka. Memang tak disangka. Saya memang tak pernah terfikir untuk clash, tapi itulah yang terbaik untuk kita sebenarnya. Tiba-tiba saya teringat ayat Allah, Surah Al-Baqarah, ayat 216,

Diwajibkan atas kamu berperang, padahal berperang itu adalah sesuatu yang kamu benci. Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.

*****

Masa terus berlalu. Saya terus sibukkan diri dengan kerja-kerja lain. Dalam usaha nak lupakan awak, bukan senang, tapi saya terus cuba. Saya selalu bagi tazkirah, ingatkan orang. Saya bagi ta'lim di masjid, terangkan pada orang, couple haram, tunjuk segala dalil. Macam-macam yang berlaku. Ada kritikan, ada juga yang setuju. Cuma kali ini saya tak dapat nak mengadu pada awak, tapi saya jumpa tempat mengadu yang lebih baik, pada Dia, Allah yang Maha Mendengar.

Tiba-tiba satu pagi ni, dapat sms daripada awak. Awak bagi gambar bunga. Bawah tu ada ayat,

"Seindah gubahan pertama.."

Saya rasa awak masih tak dapat lupakan saya. Saya pun fikir, "Kena tegaskan rasanya". Lepas tu saya hantarlah sms ni. Dan rasanya itulah yg terakhir.

"Tiada yang lebih indah daripada mendapat keredahaan ilahi..seindah manapun gubahan pertama tu, selagi tak mendapat keredahaanNya, tetap tiada gunanya.. Assalamualaikum..saya tahu, dulu saya cakap, kalau ada jodoh, insya-Allah akan bertemu juga. Tapi saya taknak awak tunggu. Lupakan saya. Biar Allah yang menentukan. Lagi satu, Jangan cari cinta manusia, ia penuh dengan penipuan, kekecewaan, dan tak kekal.. Tapi carilah cinta Allah.. tiada penipuan, tidakkan pernah mengecewakan itulah cinta abadi.. Cinta yang diredahai.. -Yang Terakhir-

SEND

SENDING..

MESSAGE SENT

Saya dah buat keputusan. Saya pasti apa yang saya buat ni betul. Saya yakin, saya tinggalkan semua ini demi mendapatkan redha Allah. Allah akan gantikan dengan sesuatu yang terbaik untuk saya. Dan saya takkan sekali-kali berpatah balik.

TAKKAN…BUAT SELAMA-LAMANYA...

Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk laki-laki yang keji, dan laki-laki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula), dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk laki-laki yang baik dan laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula).

[An-Nuur, 24:26]