A little understanding

A lot of my professional work involves helping people and organizations make decisions and then communicate them. I have found that people might not always like a decision, but they are more likely to respect it (maybe even support it) if the time is taken to help them understand why it was made and how.

Children are no different.

So I have taken great care to apply this principal with little one as well.

Don't confuse communication with negotiation, by the way. When it comes to matters of safety, civility, and humility, there is often little room for negotiating with little ones. And quite frankly, I think negotiation confuses them and complicates us. But there is lots of room for communication.

Here's an example of how communication is looking in our family (we're way more imperfect at it, by the way, than we are proficient, but we're working on it):

Scene: Me and little one in the car. I'm driving in always-busy traffic. She's strapped in her car seat, reading a book or looking out the window.

Little one: Mommy, hold you please? (which means, mommy, hold me please?)

Me (mommy): Little one, why can't I hold you right now?

Little one: It's dangerwous

Me: Why is it dangerous?

Little one: Because mommy's drivin

She keeps reading or maybe starts singing. I keep driving knowing there's absolutely nothing I'd rather be doing than holding her. It didn't take long for this conversation (which is a daily repeat) to emerge--just a time or two of explaining that I would love to hold her but that I'm driving and it would be very dangerous to do both.

It makes me think about all the ways I don't communicate like this with other people I love or care about. Starting from scratch with little one helps me to think about where I might take for granted the understanding of older ones.

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Tomorrow I'm going to write about rules, which I've been giving a lot of thought to--their origin, their application, their purpose, their consequence, their relevance (or not). I find having it all straight in my head helps a great deal when you're creating conditions (and explanations) to support the development of a happy, healthy, and well-mannered little one.

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Spackle n' Splurge

I've been hard boiling eggs for two straight days in anticipation of Thursday night's popcorn and PAAS. That's right...we'll fill up our water pails, roll up our sleeves, and discover all kinds of ways to color an egg (and everything around it).