Earth's magma, once again, sensitive to how women dress...

The power that women hold over natural events is quite incredible. Flooding, hurricanes, earthquakes - often we find that women are to blame for them. Thus, it comes as no surprise that a senior Iranian cleric, Sedighi, has found a correlation between women's immodest dressings in Tehran and the increase in earthquake activity. I sense a Nature paper here...

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes," Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran's acting Friday prayer leader.

...

"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?" Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. "There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes."

He is right. We don't have many other options. If this "promiscuous

women theory for the causes of earthquakes" fails, then we may have to start trying human sacrifices to appease the magma. This is true and tried classic ancient wisdom. How can that be wrong? Let us all hope that this works, because then we are really out of ideas.

On the other hand, there are some idiot seismologists that keep on talking about their fairy tales about plates and faults:

Seismologists have warned for at least two decades that it is likely the sprawling capital will be struck by a catastrophic quake in the near future.

Some experts have even suggested Iran should move its capital to a less seismically active location. Tehran straddles scores of fault lines, including one more than 50 miles (80 kilometers) long, though it has not suffered a major quake since 1830.

Yeah right! Plus, if these highfalutin seismologists are correct, wouldn't we find that most earthquakes correlate with plate boundaries? Of course not, and we should not even bother looking for these natural causes.

Read the full article here.

Update (april 20th): For a hilariously irreverent commentary on this state of affairs, check out the plans for boobquake here.